I’m Bisexual, Should I come out to my wife, partner or family ?
There’s only one person capable of answering this question responsibly, and it’s you. Deciding to come out to those around you means that you’re opening yourself up to the risk of there being a negative reaction, as well as for your relationships to be forever altered in some way or form. The decision to come out as Bisexual to others means that you will be seen in a different light and once you’ve crossed that threshold, there is no turning back.The reality of this situation needn’t necessarily have any negative connotations attached to it. In the instance of someone responding to this revelation favourably, it more than likely would mean that he/she won’t only respond by wanting to relate with you more deeply and authentically, but it can also imply that he/she comes to respect you for your courage. However, life isn’t all rose-tinted glasses, so we cannot ignore the outcome should the reaction be unfavourable.
The most important part of this process is that you come out to yourself. It will be virtually impossible for you to come to a place of self acceptance and self celebration unless you’re able to acknowledge the truth about yourself and make peace with it. After all, doesn’t charity begin at home?
Stay on the downlow or come out ? pros and cons.
There are pros and cons associated with both sides of the coin. If you opt to come out, you’ll have greater freedom in being able to express who you are and therefore live a more authentic life, however, you won’t be able to control the reactions of others. On the other side of the coin, you will more than likely feel isolated and lonely (and go through waves of depression on occasion) if you opt to stay in the closet. However, you won’t have to worry about or deal with the reactions of others, unless you are found out. Since I don’t believe that I have any right to play “moral police” in your life, I’m leaving this out of the equation and leave you to determine how you view that side of things.
Staying in the closet could open you up to living with a level of fear and guilt, most especially if you decide that you’d like to be sexually active with men, without your partner’s knowledge and consent. If you decide that this approach is the best way for you to move forward, it may be wise for you to spend time considering any possible repercussions and to reconcile yourself to them, so that if they emerge, then you’re emotionally prepared for them.
If, however, you decide to come out, it would be wise to consider possible reactions of loved ones and to prepare yourself for them as well. It would be helpful to offer reliable information about bisexuality during the time of your coming out, to ensure that you’ve prepared yourself for possible questions so that you can answer them confidently, to be able to tailor the information that you intend to share in bite-sized portions so that the recipient will be able to digest information without feeling overwhelmed, and to possibly start the process with people who you believe would be more accepting and supportive of you and your sexual orientation.
Admitting to yourself that you are Bisexual.
Another point worth considering would be, “What does coming out mean to me?” Do you think that it comes with the responsibility of educating those around you?…most especially when considering how far the bisexuality still has to go before it’s acknowledged and accepted as a valid sexual orientation. It doesn’t imply that you burn your jockstraps while singing The Village People’s “Macho Man”, but how are you able to utilize the fact that you’ve come out as a bisexual, as a means of making a meaningful contribution towards the progress and wellbeing of the bi community? Coming out of the closet could be the start of a new you.