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bi curious married man

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#1 OFFLINE   curiousman46

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:56 AM

i am new to this. i am married and 45 years old. never been with a man but i have been having amazing urges lately. now its out of control. im a teacher and a coach and in pretty good shape. all i can think about is men and giving a bj and receiveing one. extremely interested in the bottom position for sex. these feelings are overwhelming and i dont know where to start to meet or talk to people to explore my feelings. i have wanted this for so long




#2 OFFLINE   ianmasseur

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 08:12 AM

i am the same fella. I am 47 . Hairy but keep it trimmed and keep fit by going to the gym but lately i am getting so turned on by the sight of naked guys in the showers that i have stopped having a shower because i can't hide my aroused state while naked . Ian

#3 OFFLINE   mbarun68

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:27 PM

It can get interesting when you're at the gym locker room and find yourself getting hard. I try not to think about getting hard unless I'm in an area that is more private like a sauna. I was at the gym yesterday and saw a guy that I know from the gym. After I got out of the shower he came over and started talking to me while he was drying off. I was great seeing him dry off...he lifted his legs and was drying his legs on the bench while his cock and balls were just hanging out. I have my suspicions about him being bi..but he just kept drying off his body in front of me while we talked. He has a great body...and he's shaved/ pretty clean around his cock and definitely totally clean around his balls...they were dangling jewels. It was awesome..I had my boxer briefs on but I could feel myself getting hard. He probably noticed, but didn't say anything as other guys were in the locker room on the other side. After I was finally dressed he was still nude and "drying" off while talking to me. It was great...if I didn't have to get going I would have gone back into the sauna to see if he would have followed me. I'm hoping to see him at the gym again and have him join me in the sauna. I'd like to see where it will go.
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#4 OFFLINE   exnavyguy

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 04:18 PM

If your here you have at lest come this far in admitting that you are bi, so congrats on getting that far. As far as being turned on by guys, we all understand :) Thing is can you talk with your wife? Are you ready to tell her, because cheaters ALWAYS get caught whether by total accident or outa guilt and confession. And the last thing ya want to do ( I am assuming) is to put her and your self in harms way of catching an STD. So talk with her tell her your desires and find a safe and sane (that can be the hard part) partner. Good luck we are all behind ya!

#5 OFFLINE   TimmyB

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 08:15 PM

Welcome to the forums, Curiousman46! Coming to terms with this can be a difficult process, but you'll find this to be a supportive place. And listen to what exnavyguy said in his post above- Those of us who are married and bi walk a slippery slope, and it's best to be open and honest with our wives.
"You're sorry-grateful, Regretful-happy. Why look for answers when none occur?
You'll always be what you always were, which has nothing to do with- all to do with- her"
-from "Sorry-Grateful" from the musical "Company" by Stephen Sondheim

#6 OFFLINE   christianjones

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 05:20 PM

Hey guys, loving these stories - oh how familiar! There seem to be a ton of ways to get to meet guy men for sex and while that may be great, it seems harder to do what I'd like to do which is to meet men in my situation...who are living lives as straight men, and who want to explore their gay side, probabaly for the first time or first few times. Is that harder on line....? Just started looking.

All the best...hey Ian, you're in the UK I think, me too. How's it going?

#7 OFFLINE   marriedbicurious

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 12:39 AM

View Postcuriousman46, on 05 March 2012 - 02:56 AM, said:

i am new to this. i am married and 45 years old. never been with a man but i have been having amazing urges lately. now its out of control. im a teacher and a coach and in pretty good shape. all i can think about is men and giving a bj and receiveing one. extremely interested in the bottom position for sex. these feelings are overwhelming and i dont know where to start to meet or talk to people to explore my feelings. i have wanted this for so long

I have very similar feelings - am 52 and think of giving a bj while having sex with my wife.

#8 OFFLINE   KJ in CTown

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Posted 04 March 2013 - 03:33 PM

I have had bi urges off and on for years, but now that I'm in my 40's, they've gotten strong. You're not alone. Or rather, WE'RE not alone. I'm new, but this site has allowed me to explore a more emotional part of my feelings.

#9 OFFLINE   Brad0101

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Posted 05 March 2013 - 06:42 PM

Wow, I can totally relate to all of you. Funny how much stronger the feelings have gotten over the years, especially the past few. It's great to hear this is somewhat normal (I'm not alone!)

Exnavy & Timmy - I give you both a ton of credit for talking directly to your wives about this. Curious as to how you approached that and how it went?

Also I suppose just clarifying, in my opinion, I don't necessarily see the need to talk to the wife about any of this if it is still in the 'curious' phase. I don't know, maybe that goes without saying. I currently have no intention of telling mine as it's all theoretical (jsut as I wouldn't tell her if I was fantasizing over some hot chick, either.) Though if I do find myself in a position of acting out on some of these feelings... That's a different story, guess I'll have to burn that bridge when I get to it. I can't even imagine beginning to approach this subject with the wife! *panic attack* ;)

#10 OFFLINE   1701A

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:07 AM

My story sounds a lot like y'alls, and I can tell you how *not* to tell your wife: 6 a.m. on a workday when you've been up all night freaking out because the dam broke and you finally realized it, before she is really all the way awake.

In retrospect, I probably should have waited until she had at least had her coffee.

And while we are still in early days post-realization, and it's not totally stress-free (mostly just, "Gee, I hope this all works out" more than anything else but it gets a little rough every now and then), the honesty is great. And I've been *very* careful to be extra thoughtful and attentive, we're going to do some marital counseling, etc, too. I think you have to remember, in the whirl of self-acceptance and EYE CANDY EVERYWHERE that when you are married, it really isn't just about you.

So one tricky thing has been not overwhelming her with talk about it though - I have to make a very conscious effort to talk about other stuff too, as it's all very new at the moment and I have it on the brain big time. And she needs and has friends to talk about it that aren't me.

And also I need to remember to cool it with the gushing re: certain baseball players and their abs, certain rakish TV actors who play fake psychics on CBS, and so on.

We have also definitely benefited from the fact that neither of us are particularly religious, so no conflicts there, and we live in a pretty LGBT friendly big city, work in politically progressive type jobs with a lot of likeminded folks, etc. And as we talked about it, we came to the realization that for all we know, I'll get hit by a bus next week or we could end up breaking up for wholly unrelated reasons, who knows? So it doesn't make sense to pre-emptively break up because of this, as long as we are both being honest, acting in good faith, approaching it as an opportunity for growth rather than a struggle against each other, and all that. I figure at worst we'll part as friends, and at best I'll get to stay with the woman I have been blissfully happy with for a decade now, and who is my absolute favorite person in the world, and whom I am lucky to have, because she is awesome.

(Sorry for the wall-o-text.)

#11 OFFLINE   SillyWilly2014

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Posted 28 February 2014 - 04:54 AM

Hi, I'm married too and am very bi curious. I look forward to hear back from you.

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#12 OFFLINE   Floydy

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Posted 28 February 2014 - 05:47 AM

Both fit guys, married, 40's. There is a real common link in bisexuality occurring these days.
Since joining this site myself I've been constantly and reassuringly surprised at how many people are in a similar situation.
Hell. 49 years thinking I was just plain weird. It's taken that long with so many angsty hang-ups to find myself.
Sorry. Digressing there!:wacko:


#13 OFFLINE   Markfc

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 07:00 PM

View PostSillyWilly2014, on 28 February 2014 - 04:54 AM, said:

Hi, I'm married too and am very bi curious. I look forward to hear back from you.


#14 OFFLINE   Markfc

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 07:02 PM

I'm married as well and 4 years ago when my wife and I split for one year I had the opportunity to try sex with men. It was really amazing!

#15 OFFLINE   handlebar

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 02:21 PM

Also married and bi. Tough to find others men with the same feelings except through forums like this.
Bisexual men support and friendship group-Facebook



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