You may have heard of the terms “Bicurious” and “Bisexual” in your daily rounds, but up till this point, you haven’t paid much attention to what they mean because you didn’t believe that they applied to you. However, you’ve started asking yourself.. Am I bicurious or Bisexual ? So now you’ve now come to a place where you realise that in order to better understand yourself and where these desires are coming from, you’re going to have to stop and take stock of these two labels in an attempt to see where you fit in and how they stand to impact your life and your present or future relationship(s) with women. In order to determine if you are more than just curious, it will be necessary to first explore bisexuality and what the implications of being Bisexual can be.
Contemporary sexual researchers like Alfred Kinsey, Fritz Klein, Pat Saliba and J. R. Little have made us aware that there is more to sexuality than just “Straight” and “Gay”. Sandwiched in between these two sexual orientations lies “bisexuality”. It’s a very complex sexual orientation because it can mean different things to different people, but more than that, the attractions that one has for both genders varies from person to person…along with the way that they express their bisexuality and the needs that they may have as a result of this sexual orientation. In some instances, one can have a greater attraction for women than they do for men, however, this can shift across to one having an equal attraction for both genders, while in other instances, one can have a greater attraction for men than one has for women.
One’s sexual orientation is not determined solely by one’s past and present sexual activity in isolation, i.e. contrary to common belief, you do NOT have to have sex with someone in order to determine what your sexual orientation is. The three predominant vectors that determine what our sexual orientations are would be: sexual activity, erotic fantasies and affectional relationships. Each person experiences these three vectors in differing strengths but when it comes down to it, these three things serve as signposts that help us to determine whether we’re Gay, Straight or Bisexual.
So am I Bicurious or Bisexual ?
Now that we’ve gotten bisexuality out of the way, let’s have a closer look and get some answers as to what it means to be Bicurious. The term “Bicurious” is used when someone doesn’t identify as being Gay or Straight but shows some curiosity in a relationship or sexual activity with someone of the same sex. Of all those questions and answers that keep going through your head it’s probably the ‘big one’ am I Bicurious ? If you’re serious about this journey towards your better self understanding, that you’re undertaking, you may want to note that it’s one thing to think about being sexually active from time to time, but if it’s something that is constantly on your mind, then it’s highly likely that you are leaning closer to being Bisexual than you are to simply being Bicurious. Additionally, a lot of bi men early in their journey tend to ascribe to the Bicurious label because of the security that it offers because, much as one is acknowledging the feelings and desires that one has for another man, one is able to do so without committing oneself to any particular label. It does come with a cost however, because it stands to hinder you from not only coming to know yourself and what you’re about in all entirety, but it can also prevent you from reaching a place of complete self acceptance.
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